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Posts tagged ‘cheese’

‘Cause it’s Friday: Let’s Talk Cheese & Wine

October 18, 2013
tags: bedford cheese shop, , cause its friday, chart, , cheese lovers, , , pairings, pinot noir, , , , wine,
by Sonia

cheese

I am powerless before cheese. Someone could lay out slices of American and you would still find me molesting the plate, piling slices together like a god damn Egyptian building a pyramid. I am also relatively powerless before wine. I only say relatively because it depends on my level of hangover, but for the most part, you will rarely see me turn down a glass of Pinot Noir (Chianti is good, too).

Almost once a week, my friends and I throw “dinner parties,” which are very often more like “appetizer parties” to which I am always assigned the cheese plate. I relish this assignment as it gives me a reason to venture over to my favorite local cheese store, The Bedford Cheese Shop, and engage in a 30-minute tasting frenzy that contains more moaning than an 18th century brothel with the store’s cheese monger.

“Have you tried the Pierre Robert?,” she asks while passing a sizable sample over the counter before slipping one into her mouth as well. A simultaneous, “OOOF,” almost always follows as we each nod, smacking our lips together commenting on the creamy nuttiness of the triple crème. This interaction is applicable to really any cheese taste test — give or take a few, but I really don’t discriminate when it comes to cheese — and then the two of us settle on three to four cheeses just different enough to make the plate interesting but still complimentary. After that it’s off to the wine store where I consider all the flavors that have just smothered my tastebuds and try to choose a wine that will work with each. I usually go with a Pinot Noir, Chianti, or Barbera because they are among my favorites in the red wine department, but this is where I should tell you that I really have no idea what I’m talking about.

This brings me to the image in today’s ‘Cause It’s Friday: I recently stumbled upon this chart of cheese and wine pairings and couldn’t help but share as I have no doubt that it will make all of our lives, particularly those of you who have as deep a passion for cheese and wine as me, much, much easier. And though this chart doesn’t contain the most specific of cheeses — i.e. La Tur, Tomme de Savoie, Truffle Tremor, etc. — it’s generic enough that you should be able to find a comparable classic cheese to the more exotic ones you plan on bringing to whatever dinner/app soiree you’re attending or just a party of three featuring you, a hunk of cheese, and a bottle of wine, which was me last night with a slab of Manchego and bottle of Côte du Rhône.

18 Emojis that Need to Exist

August 21, 2013

Emojis_Two

As a writer, words are my favorite, but I can never turn down the use of an emoji as an accoutrement to whatever sentence I’m sexting texting. “Hey do you want to grab a drink? *insert wine glass emoji*” “BRB jumping in the shower. *insert shower head emoji*” “Let’s make out! *insert eggplant emoji*”

But far more often than not I find myself searching for an emoji that just doesn’t exist and then consequently get irrationally angry about it. Like seriously how is there no cheese icon? And could there be more race representation? And wouldn’t adding the middle  finger emoji just solve so many problems?

On the offset chance that emoji creator, Willem Van Lancker, spends his lunchbreak reading my nutty voice, I’ve drawn 18 emojis that I believe to be essential to the iPhone user experience. Crikey, I sound like I was born in the Apple Store.

1. Smiley Face with Glasses: Sunglasses Guy is cool and all, but what about when I’m acting like a nerd and need emoji-graphic backup? Or how about when I’m talking about George Costanza? Or for all those times I’m at the optometrist? The four-eyed folk need representation and Sunglasses Guy just isn’t going to cut it.

2. Barf Face: Whether hungover, sick, or simply disgusted by something, the Barf Face would be an excellent way to emphasize just how bad things really are. It could also be the 911 face you send to your boyfriend when you’ve had too many margaritas and need to be picked up.

3. Fingers Crossed: Not everyone prays, but a fingers crossed emoji would certainly cover the base of portraying that you’re hoping something happens. It could also be a great way to confuse someone since crossing fingers can also mean that you’re lying. “Be there in five! *insert crossed fingers*” and arrive an hour later.

4. Middle Finger: I have no doubts that this emoji would be used more than the poop icon. It speaks for itself in so many ways that I find it unnecessary to explain its importance. So #@%$ you!

5. Beach Ball: I was actually surprised to find this one missing since almost every ball is represented and there are multiple emojis that imply beach time fun. And though I can’t say I’ve played with a beach ball in the past couple of years, it would serve the purpose of a glorious accoutrement to a sentence as simple as “Let’s go to the beach!”

6. Tampon: My friends and I have spent an embarrassing incredible amount of time figuring out the best way to use emojis to describe our periods. We’ve used everything from the big red dot to the exploding volcano, but nothing has really stuck. Since this is clearly a monthly issue, I’m making a stand and demanding proper menstruation representation in the form of a vagina plug.

7. Soap: Because why not? We have the shower. We have the bathtub. But what about a fresh bar of bubbling soap? I’m not asking for a bubble bath or a rubber ducky, just a simple bar of soap to emphasize personal hygiene.

8. Toothbrush: This goes along with the soap. We brush our teeth — I hope — multiple times a day. You could practically emoji-out (see how I did that instead of type-out?) your entire morning routine pending the soap and toothbrush get added to the lineup.

9. Cigar: Pairing a suit and tie with a martini — all of which are current emojis — is one thing, but a suit and tie with a martini and a cigar? Now that’s what I call a gentle(wo)man’s club.

10. Champagne: This may be even more obvious than the Middle Finger. How often does a bursting bottle of champagne describe just what it is you want to be doing? Whether it’s New Years, an anniversary, or your first round of botox, a bursting cork is always necessary and therefore so is its emoji.

11. Cheese: As a cheese-a-holic, I stand tall when saying that this is the most important emoji of all time. Its lack of presence irks me so much that I would gladly grab a wheel of France’s finest brie to smash over the head of Willem Van Lancker just to make a point. I’d also still eat the wheel of brie after it hit the floor because no cheese should ever go to waste. Since brie may be a little harder to depict as an emoji, I went for the all around crowd pleaser and easy to identify slab of swiss.

12. Hotdog: Another should-be no-brainer: the hotdog! As far as I’m concerned hamburgers and hotdogs go together like turkey and stuffing, so why be exclusive and pick only one to feature? If Bruce and Gretchen are having a barbecue I want to know if they’re serving burgers and dogs, the latter of which shouldn’t have to be spelled out.

13. Popcorn: Though the current emojis including a VHS, a clapboard, a DVD, a camcorder, and a video camera could easily do the trick, nothing quite says going to the movies like a heaping bag of popcorn. Said popcorn could also be used to go along with the circus tent, merry-go-round, and ferris wheel, all of which only further support the necessity of this here festive and buttery snack.

14. Avocado: Do avocados even need an explanation? They’re almost, and I mean almost, as important as cheese. And Zeus’s beard, Willem, if you’re going to feature something as rogue as the sweet potato then at least pick something as universally pleasing as the avocado as well.

15. Pickle: Something tells me that were the pickle to be an active emoji, it might take the place of the eggplant in frequence of use. Plus I hear it’s something pregnant women crave along with ice cream, so there’s always that.

16. Lobster: Emojis could use a little decadence and what better way to do so than with a juicy lobster? I also find the current shell emoji to feel a little lonely, so another crustaceous creature couldn’t hurt.

17. Shark: With all the hype that Shark Week gets — and rightfully so — a shark shooting out of the water with hungry jaws just seems like one of the more likely additions to the emoji lineup. Plus, if you were to get really creative, you could use it as a symbol of hunger in a sort of, “FEED ME NOW” type of way.

18. Unicorn: Unicorns are huge; they’re probably more popular than any of the other emojis existing or fantasized about. And how else are you to describe how magical or majestic something is without the help of a sparkling pink unicorn? I mean, really.

Ok, now it’s you’re turn. What emojis are you dying to see? Tell me please!